Part 25: Bitter Cold or, Already Dead

Chapter 19: Bitter Cold or, Already Dead

This looks like a fun chapter! All sorts of wonky terrain, and fog of war on top of it!

...Perhaps to some people's surprise, I'm actually serious: It looks fun.


Roy and company face the blizzards common of Ilia's winters. Ilia's harsh weather has in the past served as a natural defense against invaders.

First, however, cutscenes as usual.


makes preparations to attack Roy and his troops...

Some pretty impressive preparations, too!



Sadly however, we don't get to bring a lot of people, so the shrub gets the bench. If I had any sense, Ogier would have joined her and I'd have brought a thief.



Let's see what the opposition is up to.


They are just beyond the mountains.

It begins.

Captain, are you sure?

About what?

"Picking a fight with an army containing genetically engineered super-archers with all 30 caps Elimine damn it Captain regular archers are bad enough are you trying to get us all killed?"

The Eturian Army says they will liberate us from Bern. They say they'll give us our independence...

You can't be fool enough to believe that. No one fights a war without gain. Once they defeat Bern, they intend to take over. It will be the same.

But...

Bern are better allies. They are more experienced in warfare.

Which is clearly why we've been killing them all

......

Come now, we have more immediate problems. We must eliminate the enemy that lies before us. Are the ballistae ready?

Yes, the archers are all at their stations.

Good! Fire at them from a distance. They'll be floundering around in the dark of this powerful blizzard. Observe nature's wrath...

Ballistae... you say?



Nature's wrath makes the text on my screencaps hard to read.

Ilia's winters are always like this. If you want to fight in this weather, you'll have to put up with it.

We can't allow Bern to regroup. We must attack now.

You're right. If the demon dragon is victorious, it could be the end of us all.

I've been wondering... Do you think the demon dragon is in human form as well?

It seems probable. It could be that all dragons in this realm are in human form. I've even heard stories of dragons in human form living with people.

Dragons, clearly, are not people.

Arcadia...

Hm? What did you say?

Er, nothing.

I don't know much about the details, but I've read that dragons only began to take human form after the Ending Winter.

The Ending Winter...

I expect you've heard of it.

Yes, but only in legend. I learned that in the Ending Winter, the laws of nature were all warped. Day became night, and summer became winter.

That's it. The scrolls I read are so timeworn that I couldn't decipher all of them. But one thing is clear. The Ending Winter was a disaster powerful enough to bend and twist the whole planet.

What caused it?

Nobody knows for certain... Legend says it happened when the dragons released vast amounts of magical power, but nobody is sure what really happened. In any case, it is certain that dragons began to take human form after the Ending Winter. I don't believe it is mere coincidence.

I agree.

Either way, the truth lies in Bern.

That's pretty bad, I guess we're lucky the place is still standing!



Anyway, it's go time, so here's a map. I have marked the five (!) ballistae on it, because they're kinda hard to make out otherwise. The ones with a single box around them are the regular kind we've seen all over the place. The ones with the double box, however, are long ballistae, with five more attack power and a range of fifteen fucking tiles. As a tradeoff, they are slightly less accurate... I guess.

As you can see, there's a ballista right next to us; someone is going to start inside its range, but we move before it does.



We also have Niime.


The Mountain Hermit. Has devoted her life to research and study.

Niime comes with A ranks in dark magic and staves and her stats would be impressive... if she were a level 20/1 character. However, she's level 20/18, so she'll gain no experience from anything ever, and even if she did, her growths are HP 25, Mag 15, Skl 15, Spd 15, Lck 5, Def 15, Res 20 which... is approaching "FE1 Jeigan" levels of awful. To put this into perspective: If I were to level her to 20/30, on average, the stat that would rise most is her HP, which would go up by exactly three points. I guess you could use her to staffbot if you really want? But all in all, she looks more like a kind of insurance in case you killed all your own mages before now, in which case what the fuck is wrong with you?



Sadly, you can't attack enemies covered by fog even if you know they are there. Come on Zeiss, what's the worst that could happen? You could waste a whole use of that javelin hitting the ballista instead of a dude?!



Meanwhile, his sister



wishes she had been a little closer so she could have set these guys on fire.



I've been carrying that body ring we got for a fuckdiculous number of maps, not really sure who to use it on, but even Fir is only weighed down one point by a killing edge at this point. Shanna, meanwhile, loses four points of speed from a killing lance. I'm giving this to her in the hopes that she'll learn to be very slightly less disappointing.



Roy is in ballista range.

Roy does not give a fuck.

Also, there are houses. Let's check 'em.


The Ilian pegasus knights can fly through the blizzard. You'll be blinded by the white... and then they will suddenly appear out of the swirling snow.





We are not in the business of being on the side that's already dead. We're the side that makes people already dead.

Also wouldn't it be kinda hard to fly through a blizzard? I mean pegasus knights are weak against wind magic, so...


She is hiding in the blizzard, waiting to strike...

She is sitting on her lazy behind on her lazy pegasus on her lazy castle gate, is what she's doing. Her underlings, a little less so.


We're out of its range here, but the shop over there isn't...

That has to be inconvenient. You go out for some milk or something and suddenly fucking arrows!

...though they can only hold five shots at a time, so I guess it'd be kind annoying to use it like that...



As disappointing as Shanna may be, she's at least not this bad. She slaughters the opposing pegasus knights quite handily.



The ballista goes for Schwarth. It does not hit.



You're just embarrassing yourselves.



WAIT FUCK



Where the shit did he come from?!



Shanna grabs Schwarth's torch, lights it, and reveals the archer on the ballista.



He actually manages to hit Schwarth this time. It does not help him.



Fae continues the Adorablest Murder Spree.



I wonder if pegasus tastes more like horse or more like chicken.



Quality Jeiganing, A+++++ would Jeigan again.



On the next exciting episode of Wyvernball Z: Zeiss kills everything.



Let's have some more exposition.


Um, I think it was Edarza... Edetta... Edessa! That's it. It's to the northeast.

Absolutely 0% chance that we're going there next, none whatsoever.



Oh, you son of a bitch.



You're a son of a bitch too! Just you wait until I find out where you live!



Aaaand there goes Niime. Rest in peace, this was your only chance to do something useful and you fucked it up.



This marks the maximum range of the topmost long ballista.



Fuck the long ballista!



And fuck me, too - there was a pegasus in the way. Oh well, it will only prove a slight delay.



More importantly, Shanna follows (keeping just outside ballista range) and look what she found!



I know this is a horrible waste of resources but...



Candygram!



Eat adorable dragon death you sleepstaffing piece of shit!



He curses Fae with a Fae-bad Fae-level.

Fae Fae Fae.



Zeiss continues killing everything. This ballistician is next.



Look, Shanna did something!



Zeiss, of course, shows her up. Come on Shanna, don't let him



...

I forgot who I was talking to, didn't I.



archers.



The long ballista can actually do damage to Zeiss! It is pretty dangerous.



I'm going to let Ogier get in on the fun for a bit too, he hasn't done anything really useful since he promoted.



Your ballisting days are soon to be over.



I don't think there are any enemy casters left to kill, but what the fuck, Saul might as well get some exp.



Killing everything is quite profitable.



There's a lot of everything to kill!



Meanwhile, Jerrot and his fellow... knight... have a little talk.

Ah, Noah.
This is nothing. We are knights of Ilia. We have more experience than the knights of any other nation.

How appropriate that we have this conversation in Ilia, while fighting ilians, I guess!

Yes, but I still have a lot to learn.

Humble. Good.
...Oh. Noah, have you written your letter yet?

Letter?
Oh... That letter.

Surely you remember what you were told when you first enlisted. There are pegasus knight messengers that fly with us. Should you fall in battle, they will deliver our letters for us.

I guess that's also how Roy keeps sending people letters. I'm not sure I'd trust a peg knight NPC, though. They seem so be very bad at pegasus knighting.

Yes, I remember.

Neither of us will have peaceful deaths. We need those letters.

Except for the part where I'll reset if you die so it'll be as if it never happened.

Noah, don't you have anyone to send that letter to?

Actually... not really. I do recall others writing letters, though. They addressed them to their parents... or lovers.

You should do the same. Why don't you get a girlfriend?

I'll think about it.

"I did have my eye on someone, but she's kinda prickly. Also I think her dad would literally butcher and eat me."

Anyway, support level up!



And Shanna is out of things to fight so she can disappoint me horribly, so let's have her visit the village.


The prophecies were correct... When the world is covered in darkness... A single blade of wind will slice through the darkness, allowing the light to shine again.

That sounds promisi-



GET BACK HERE YOU OLD FUCK

goddammit Shanna this is all your fault isn't it



Hugh abuses his torch staff for experience points.



Your doom is at hand!



These guys' doom is at hand, too!



They have general sprites but are actually knights. Must be suffering from the same thing Wendy is...



More corpses on the pile.



NO DAMAG.



oh good Marcus finally woke up just in time to do fucking nothing



It's kind of understandable why everyone's so scared of dragons.



Oh well, if they want me to use Aircalibur...



Having dealt with everything mobile in the area, Schwarth takes a look at the boss.


A unit leader of the Ilian pegasus knights.

She has a Spear and is kind of irrelevant.



Fae's gonna hit level 30 before Roy at this rate.



Dorothy may have a special job on this map. Depending on how things play out.


But I've made up my mind. I'll hold strong. Take this ring. It brings out your inner strength. ...Please bring peace back to this land.



Haven't seen one of these in a while. I'm not sure who's getting it either. Saul could benefit with his shitty mag, I guess.



Shanna can two-shot this boss if she gets a crit.

Shanna.



......

My honor as a knight of Ilia is at stake. Don't expect me to hold back.

I know...

Not holding back means she misses, and Shanna, naturally, doesn't crit.



So let's see what Dorothy can do. Holy shit look at that attack range


Congratulations. Unfortunately, the only prize that awaits you is death.







...Dear me... I didn't anticipate perishing here...


Perhaps I died... a long... time ago...

A lot of people were already dead on this map, and Wolt hasn't even crit anyone yet!



Simple. Elegant. Sufficient.



And that's it.

...

That's it? No reinforcements? No nothing? Shanna has been rubbing off on this map.

...

Damn it Shanna I've told you about maprubbing.

A letter? May I ask what it says?

It has the information I learned from Niime about the dragons.

Oh? What did you learn?

It would take too long to tell you. I haven't sealed the letter yet, so you can look through it if you like.

Hallelujah! I won't have to transcribe it... again! Also look at Roy being all responsible and shit, kinda warms that shrivelled lump in your chest, doesn't it?



Merlinus is so very very happy to go through other people's correspondence.



While he does that, enter Guinivere!

Is something wrong, princess Guinivere?



...You don't mind?

No... I want you to know before we enter Bern... I want you to know the tragedies that have occurred.
You asked before if my brother murdered our father.

Yes...?

To be frank... he did.

King Zephiel killed his own father to seize the throne...



No?

Our father tried to kill Zephiel first.

What?! Then King Zephiel...

He couldn't bear the abuse he took from our father. So he...

What...? Why did-



not now merlinus, playable characters are talking

What is the matter?

It is nothing... Perhaps later...



GEE YOU THINK

No, it's fine. Did you send the letter?



Thank you.



'Cause he knew he'd turn out to be an obnoxious little shit and try and take over the world or destroy it or whatever I don't even remember at this point



so join us next time when we... maybe face a slightly bigger challenge?

...Please?